Text < Korrekturlesen < Englisch < Sprachen < Vorhilfe
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Hallo!
Ich hab einen Text als Übung für die Matura geschrieben, wäre echt super wenn ihn jemand durchsehen könnte. Vielen Dank!
Lg Cinderella
Immigration
Between 1979 and 1990 nearly ten million immigrants came from South America or from Asia to the United States. Most of the Hispanics crossed the border from Mexico into California and Texas, or from Cuba into Florida. For many immigrants the Statue of Liberty is the symbil of freedom, but the sad truth is that many immigrants from Mexico and Asia have never seen ist. They came in a foreign country in the hope of a better life for themselves and their families. A great wish of them is to have an own house and land one day and maybe to become rich and famous. They think that America is the land of unlimited opportunities and success and that you have the possibility to choose a job freely, express opinions freely and to keep their religions. But in the most cases their opinions have nothing to do with the reality. Nowadays many illegal immigrants are unemployed and live under the poverty-line. The two most important reasons for unemployment are globalisation and the North American Free Trade Agreement. Today many companies merge across national lines to form multinational corporations and relocation of manufacturing sites to countries with cheaper labor costs is normal. And this is a very sad fact for the illegal immigrants. Many of them are caught by the police and send back to their home country or live in ghettos. I think that immigrants from developing countries are very important for the economy of a country because they offten perform jobs that local inhabitans don't want to do.
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Hi Cinderella,
> Immigration
> Between 1979 and 1990 nearly ten million immigrants came
> from South America or from Asia to the United States. Most
> of the Hispanics crossed the border from Mexico into
> California and Texas, or from Cuba into Florida. For many
> immigrants the Statue of Liberty is the symbil of freedom,
> but the sad truth is that many immigrants from Mexico and
"but the sad truth" -> ein bissl zu deutsch. Versuche es mal umzuschreiben!
> Asia have never seen ist. They came in a foreign country in
letztes "in" weglassen.
> the hope of a better life for themselves and their
> families. A great wish of them is to have an own house and
"great" umschreiben...
> land one day and maybe to become rich and famous. They
> think that America is the land of unlimited opportunities
> and success and that you have the possibility to choose a
> job freely, express opinions freely and to keep their
> religions. But in the most cases their opinions have
> nothing to do with the reality. Nowadays many illegal
> immigrants are unemployed and live under the poverty-line.
> The two most important reasons for unemployment are
> globalisation and the North American Free Trade Agreement.
"globalisation" und "North American Free Trade Agreement" näher erklären.
> Today many companies merge across national lines to form
> multinational corporations and relocation of manufacturing
> sites to countries with cheaper labor costs is normal. And
"And this" weglassen,nur schreiben "That is a..."
> this is a very sad fact for the illegal immigrants. Many of
> them are caught by the police and send back to their home
> country or live in ghettos. I think that immigrants from
> developing countries are very important for the economy of
"developing countries" -> gibts da noch ein schöneres Synonym für?
> a country because they offten perform jobs that local
> inhabitans don't want to do.
Ich hoffe ich habe nix übersehen. Falls doch wird sich Sarah oder einer der anderen sicher nochmal gütig mit dem Text tun *smile*. Inhaltlich finde ich den Text prima. Und meine Anmerkungen sind ja nur Kleinigkeiten.
Liebe Grüße
Analytiker
![[lehrer]](/images/smileys/lehrer.gif "[lehrer]")
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Hey Cinderella ![[winken]](/images/smileys/winken.gif "[winken]") ,
Die Anregungen, die der Analytiker schon für dich da gelassen hat, werde ich jetzt nicht nochmal aufführen, aber ich hab da noch ein paar Kleinigkeiten 
> Immigration
> Between 1979 and 1990 nearly ten million immigrants came
> from South America or from Asia to the United States. Most
> of the Hispanics crossed the border from Mexico into
> California and Texas, or from Cuba into Florida.
![[ok]](/images/smileys/ok.gif "[ok]")
> For many
> immigrants the Statue of Liberty is the symbilsymbol of freedom,
> but the sad truth is that many immigrants from Mexico and
> Asia have never seen ist.
![[notok]](/images/smileys/notok.gif "[notok]")
> They came in a foreign country foreign countries > in the hope of a better life for themselves and their families.
> A great fondest wish of them is to have an own > house and land one day and maybe to become rich and famous.
> They think that America is the land of
> unlimitedopportunitiesy (Land der
> UNBEGRNZTEN Möglichkeiten=the land of opportunity)
> and success and that you have the possibility to choose a
> job freely, express opinions freely and to keep their
> religions.
> But in the most cases their opinions have
> nothing to do with the reality.
> Nowadays besser: Today many illegalimmigrants
> are unemployed and live under the poverty-line.
> The two most important reasons for unemployment are
> globalisation and the North American Free Trade Agreement.
> Today many companies merge across national lines to form
> multinational corporations and relocation of manufacturing
> sites to countries with cheaper labor costs is normal. And
> this is a very sad fact for the illegal immigrants. Many of
> them are caught by the police and send back to their home
> country or live in ghettos. I think that immigrants from
> developing countries are very important for the economy of
> a country because they offten perform jobs that local
> inhabitans don't want to do.
Also mir gefällt dein Text sehr gut! Er ist gut verständlich (für ne 11-Schülerin zum Beispiel ), jedoch würde ich die Anregungen vom Analytiker wirklich noch umsetzen, um ein paar Pluspünktchen zu bekommen.
Ansonsten aber well done.
Liebe Grüße,
Sarah 
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