Charakter Biff und Happy < Korrekturlesen < Englisch < Sprachen < Vorhilfe
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(Frage) beantwortet  | | Datum: | 16:32 So 30.10.2005 | | Autor: | Dome2000 |
Ich habe diese Frage in keinem Forum auf anderen Internetseiten gestellt.
Hallo!
Es wäre nett, wenn jemand meinen Text über die Charaktere Biff und Happy aus "Death of a Salesman" durchlesen könnte und verbessern würde. Also rein im grammatischen Sinne. Wenn inhaltliche Fehler bestehen, wäre ich ebenfalls für Hinweise froh.
Biff and Happy are in the drama Death of a Salesman the children of Willy and Linda Loman. Both are visiting their parents and sleep in their old bedroom.
Biff seems to be a problem child for his father, because his acting in reality is a big contrast to his past. In his youth Biff was a very reputable football player and he still had lots of fans around him. His father recognized that his son had lots of talent and he saw a great future for him. But today Willy isnt as proud as that time of his son.
Biff is angry with his father, because Willy only sees the possibility of success in life and not the human beings behind his children. And he always mocks at his son Biff so that there increases a great distance between them. Biff is not sure what his future will bring for him. He wants to be outdoor and is not interested in any normal business-jobs as e.g. his father has.
Biffs job is low-payed, but he is very impressed of the farm he is working at. But at the same time he isnt content with his life, because he doesnt know what hell do in his future.
I think that this discontent is influenced by his fathers behaviour against him. Willy always tells him that his life is nothing worth if he is not successful in business, so it could be that the attitudes of his father are now transfused at Biffs life. Because of that Biff is still searching his ego at the age of 34.
Also the other son, Happy, seems not to be content with his life. Although he is a masher (Weiberheld) and successful in his job he cant be really happy. He doesnt now the real reason why and for what he is working. He feels lonely like his brother. The both have a good relationship. Happy for example learned from his brother how to act with women. Biff and Happy long for a life with a real relationship to a woman.
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(Antwort) fertig  | | Datum: | 19:57 So 30.10.2005 | | Autor: | marla |
Du könntest anstatt because since einsetzen ich fidne das klingt irgendwie immer ein bisschen gehobener ;) außerdem, wenn du das abgeben musst, dann solltest du auf jeden fall die shortforms raus lassen! das sehen die lehrer immer nicht so gern vorallem im abitur
mfg marla
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(Antwort) fertig | | Datum: | 08:25 Mo 31.10.2005 | | Autor: | taura |
Hallo Dome!
Inhaltlich kann ich dir leider nicht weiterhelfen, denn ich hab den "Salesman" nie gelesen... Aber ich werd versuchen, deinem Aufsatz ein bisschen den letzte Schliff zu geben 
> Biff and Happy are in the drama Death of a Salesman the
> children of Willy and Linda Loman.
Die Satzstellung ist falsch: In "Death of a Salesman", Biff and Happy are the children of Willy and Linda Loman.
> Both are visiting their
> parents and sleep in their old bedroom.
Both are visiting their parents, during which time they are sleeping in their old bedroom. (Klingt etwas besser?)
> Biff seems to be a problem child for his father, because
> his acting in reality is a big contrast to his past.
Statt acting besser behaviour, und statt reality lieber present, denn du willst ja den Kontrast zur Vergangenheit ausdrücken.
> In his
> youth Biff was a very reputable football player and he
> still had lots of fans around him.
still has (bezieht sich doch auf "jetzt" oder?)
> His father recognized
> that his son had lots of talent and he saw a great future
> for him.
Da stimmt was mit der Zeitenfolge nicht, es muss heißen, his father had recognized (oder besser realized). Und vielleicht schreibst du besser "a great talent"
> But today Willy isnt as proud as that time of his
> son.
But today Willy is not as proud of his son, as he was then.
> Biff is angry with his father, because Willy only sees the
> possibility of success in life and not the human beings
> behind his children. And he always mocks at his son Biff so
> that there increases a great distance between them.
he is always mocking his son Biff so that the distance between them increases. Oder: so that a great distance grows between them.
> Biff is
> not sure what his future will bring for him. He wants to be
> outdoor and is not interested in any normal business-jobs
> as e.g. his father has.
> Biffs job is low-payed, but he is very impressed of the
> farm he is working at.
Vielleicht besser: Biffs present job...
> But at the same time he isnt
> content with his life, because he doesnt know what hell
> do in his future.
Besser nur "in future"
> I think that this discontent is influenced by his fathers
> behaviour against him. Willy always tells him that his life
> is nothing worth if he is not successful in business, so it
> could be that the attitudes of his father are now
> transfused at Biffs life.
...that his life is of no worth... und attitude besser in der Einzahl
> Because of that Biff is still
> searching his ego at the age of 34.
> Also the other son, Happy, seems not to be content with his
> life.
...does not seem to be content...
> Although he is a masher (Weiberheld) and successful
> in his job he cant be really happy. He doesnt now the
> real reason why and for what he is working. He feels lonely
> like his brother. The both have a good relationship.
> Happy for example learned from his brother how to act with
> women.
...how to deal with women...
> Biff and Happy long for a life with a real
> relationship to a woman.
Und wie Marla schon sagte: lass im schriftlichen Englisch besser die Verkürzungen weg...
Hoffe, ich konnte dir helfen
Gruß taura
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